i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize