I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
