I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
