"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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