im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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