dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
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Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
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Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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