I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
