yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
