I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
