no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
