Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
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Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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