You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You don't make any sense
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