I will die if light touches me.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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