I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize