i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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