I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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