I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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