listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Dick very happy bro
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
