i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just forgot I was standing up.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
