i just wanna soil my oats bro
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
