I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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