You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
