Are we in a gay sports bar?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
