I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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