they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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