Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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