These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
