it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
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We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
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You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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