so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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