TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
