it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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