And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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