Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
