I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Randomize
