whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
