I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
