Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
