we're chasing vodka with high fives
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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