Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We need to rekindle our bromance
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
