that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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