is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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