the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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