she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
