He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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