Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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