Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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