I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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