dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
