Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
