I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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