apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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