In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
then he tried to convert me to islam
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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