i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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