I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
