i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
