id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
