You can't motorboat a personality
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm determined to sit on that face.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
