I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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