Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
