ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
