Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
