Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
