you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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