So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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