We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
