So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
